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October 23, 2008

Canada Suss




• What a way History Dance a Canada sell off!! A di biggest ting fi hit Toronto, Canada a year time. Jason aka J Logix a di real big man, him a one a di hardest working man inna Canada, trust mi. Di man know how fi promote a dance an mek it one of di hottest ting inna Canada. Nuff respect to Jason and Nigel wey put on di dance. On Sunday, October 12 inside a di luxurious La Suhaag Banquet Hall, located at 75 Hedgedale Road in Brampton, History Dance did cork wid some a di hottest girls and man dem a party like real Jamaicans.

• Yow, the Jamaican Canadians dem consider History Dance fi dem red carpet affair. The hot Jamaican Canadian girls dem go all out wid di bashest hairstyle and the hottest outfit fi come star inna di videolight. Mi sey, yow the Jamaican Canadian dem a some a di hottest girls round here, trust mi. Nuh gal cyaan test dem wid hotness.

• By the way, a wah di Jamaican Canadian girl dem de pon. Mi sey, everyweh mi go a pare well rounded, big batty, firm titty gal mi si. Mi a wonda if a fowl pill or di injection ting or wah ‘cause it cyaan right. No sah! Di gal dem look sexy nuh ratid, wid some well rounded bumpa, bouncing breast and ting. A di fuss mi a si dat. Something ova deh gree wid dem bad, trust mi. And di man dem fully appreciate it.

• What a way di Jamaican Canadian dem love Barbee…man and woman alike. Mi sey, when she walk inna History Dance looking like a real Barbie doll the place get weak. Everybody want touch har or dance wid har or tek picture wid har. Mi sey, all when di dance done people line up for hours a wait fi tek picture wid Barbee. Di poor girl pose inna all different position till she weak. Mi couldn’t stand up inna dem deh high heels so long. No sah, mi woulda kick dem off long time and run go sidung. She good, trust mi. She was indeed the life of the party. Everybody a seh how she nice and sexy and dem love har vibes. Although the girl dem love are tuh just like di man dem, some girl get jealous bad if dem man even look Barbee way 'cause dat deh body woulda tek wey any gal man.

• Barbee has been hitting the gym big time. Di girl loose nuff weight and firm up and tings. Yuh fi see har now, woiah!! A now di man dem a go go crazy. With those hips, round butt, firm breasts and flat stomach, she nearly mad di Canada man dem. Di woman dem did affi hol on pon dem man tight.

• Mi sey, Ching Ching go a Canada go hype up di place like crazy. Di man have di whole Jamaican Canadian dem a live pon him slang. Everyweh yuh go di people dem deh pon “Everyday!! I don’t take risk, risk is expensive. I drink hennessy, my piss is expensive. My career tek off like a rocket, I have no space in my pocket.” Yow, di man hard, him full a lyrics like wow.

• Unuh check out Ching Ching new grills? Di man go a Canada go get some custom-made grills deh weh a tek life. Yow, di man sey di way di grills dem hard man haffi pay him fi smile, ‘cause dem grills deh too wicked fi show fi free. Only Ching Ching.

• A wha happen to di one Najair from Rebel T. Look like mi affi go nickname him Rubberman or Eraser. Mi sey, everyweh di man go him a offer a girl a back rub or foot rub or head rub or hand rub or fi rub some part a dem body. Mi affi wonder a wha tek him. Tru a him fuss time a Canada it get to him head or a because a di well rounded body Jamaican Canadian girl dem mek him head nuh good again.

• Yow, di one Son Son from the movie ‘Bashment’ aka Denzel from the movie ‘What Goes Around’ aka Noah Wid Di Power from New York decide sey him a go explore Canada a go a one neighbour. Mi sey, di people dem rush him him frighten. Him neva know sey a suh di movie ‘Bashment’ popular a Canada. Everybady a ball out sey ‘si Son Son deh!’ And want him autograph and fi tek picture wid him. Him couldn’t move. Him affi send up SOS fi get rescue. Bwoy, di Jamaican Canadian dem look Son Son bad!!

• But wait, come to tink of it, Son Son aka Denzel aka Noah multi-talented bad doah yuh nuh. Di man a one a did baddest selectors in di world, him is a wicked actor, comedian and impersonator. Suppose yuh hear di man impersonate some a di Jamaican artiste dem yuh woulda neva believe sey a nuh dem.

• Big up to Sandy and the Rapunzel crew!! The best hairstylists in Toronto, Canada. Located on Avenue Road, Rapunzel specializes in lace wigs, the new craze…and the secret of the stars. And Sandy and her girls are the experts at it. In fact, all the celebrities, hot Jamaican Canadian girls…no all the real Canadian women, black or white…who want the best lace wig know that Rapunzel is the place. Don’t worry Jamaica, Sandy and her crew are heading to the island in November for a lace wig workshop, so look out for it.

• Mi sey, di way how the movie ‘What Goes Around’ hot, the Jamaican Canadian dem bomb rush di Silver City theatre at Yorkdale Mall in Toronto for the Canadian premiere. The screenwriter/director Steve ‘Tehut Nine’ McAlpin was awed at the response to the movie and how the patrons were so into it, loving or hating the characters and so deep in the story as if they were a part of the movie. ‘What Goes Around’ is indeed a powerful movie looking at the serious consequences of irresponsible sexual action, interspersed with a lot of humour and very good acting. Everyone needs to see it. Trust mi!!

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