POOR RISTO BENJI
You know a just di odda day we mind run pon Risto Benji and did a wonda a whey him up to. But just tru we know sey nuff time yuh nuh si di artiste dem a Jamaica but dem a tour dung di whole world, we just assume a dat him a duh. People, unno can imagine how wi shock when wi hear sey police arrest Benjie fi robbery wid aggravation. No sah, we still a listen out fi hear Risto side a di story, because everybody know sey Risto Benji a big artiste and him is a bigga Ras and Rasta nuh mix up wid certain tings. In a di meantime, we a beg smaddy, please go and bail him. And, Risto, give we a small check when you come a road, cause we want di full hundred.
LOOSHIE GET A SOLID MESSAGE
We love how di Messenjah a move. Him a tek him career serious and a deal wid di ting proper. People a say di iron pipe lick more sense inna him head and mek him start reason pon a higher level. Cause, of a truth, when you life flash before you eye, people always have a transformation. Solid fi really big up Freckles, cause Looshie get the message ... SOLID.
SERRANI NEW VIDEO LAME
Di new video fi No Games get a D-. A it haffi get worst video fi 2009, cause we know say no more video nah mek fi come test it. How Serani dem fi sign off pon dat deh fool-fool sinting deh? Whoever do dat fi get fired. And people a nuh eediat, cause di comment dem wha deh pon youtube nuh pretty at all. No storyline, no concept, fake background, King Kong a hold girl inna him palm. Hear some a di comment dem: “Who directed this terrible video?” “Luv di song....video is poor i mean very poor what about the real yard vibz ????.” “Stupid video...............” “A wa dis.fi a song wey a mash up the worl a so di video look.daaaaaaaaaaam.” “Lame artiste, lame song and even lamer video.” “This is one of my favourite songs for 08/09 and I must say I am extremely disappointed in the video! This song is way to exquisite for such a poor video.”
WHAT’S UP WID JPS
But a wha really a gwaan wid di Jamaica Public Service. Just di odda day dem get increase and now wi hear sey dem send confidential request to Office of Utility Regulation (OUR) fi nex one. Wi waan fi know one ting when food price hit di roof, when hurricane lick, when people lose dem wuck, who poor people can call pon fi help. Wi nuh just haffi grit wi teeth and try fi figure out a way fi stay wid wi head above di waters. So how come every time di dollars gone up, or some disaster or anodda JPS want sen on increase in rates pon fi help cushion dem. A time fi OUR start act out dem name and tink about OUR needs instead a di utility company dem.
WHO TEACH DI POLICE DEM DA WORD YAH?
From di odda day every single police release wi get a pure ‘sleuth’, ‘sleuth’ wi a read bout. It come een like sey dem just learn deh one dey and like it. Wi a ask di English professor who teach dem da word yah fi teach dem some new one whey mean di same ting as sleuth or else wi affi slew ‘sleuth’.
THREE RAMPING PUSSYCATS IN A BOX
Who sey wi nuh creative? Unno did a watch di count down pon TV wha day yah and when it reach di number one song, Romping Shop, dem couldn’t play it. But what some creative person do was put three puss inna one box and have dem a romp out dem life and a have fun. Di lickle cute puss name Spice, di big man one name Kartel and di next one name BC.