QUEEN OF STAGE

QUEEN OF STAGE AKA SPICE

DANCEHALL/REGGAE MUSIC VIDEOS

Loading...

January 15, 2010

HOW YOU CAN SPOT A JAMAICAN ON A FLIGHT OR IN THE AIRPORT:



BY STARAPPLE

1. They are always arguing with the flight attendant over seat position; even when the seat they are in was assigned to someone else; and insist on not moving so much so it becomes almost like an IMF round of negotiation between the flight attendant and the stubborn Jamaican; hence we are always delayed.

2. They always have their documents well put up even after they move off from Immigration to Customs; everything well hidden so much so it takes about 5 minutes to find them

3. Just before landing, the flight suddenly smells like you walked in a perfume or cologne store; cause Jamaicans have to freshen up before they meet immigration

4. They are the ones in deep conversation with the Immigration officer; smiling and greeting as if they are the Immigration Officer

5. They always have the loudest discussion on their cell phones even when the captain just instructed them to turn off all electrical instruments and wait for the flight attendant to tell them 2 times after that that they have to get off as though it's the first time they are hearing it

6. As the plane lands on the tarmac; even if they were in a deep sleep during the flight they jump up like they were tasered and take off the seatbelt faster than Usain in Berlin and try to take down their 50 lb luggage so they can get to the front of the plane before it gets to the gate; even if they were in seat 33D

7. No matter how well dressed they are a scandal or lada bag is a must; even if it contains expensive items or they have to walk with a Mega Mart, Price Mart or Bashco bag

8. The women always wear some impossible heels even though they know that all flights that originate from Jamaica and that land in the USA are always given the gate farthest from the Immigration Counter; the men always have on the latest sneakers or kick me come kill me boots that are squeezing the daylights out of their toes. Regular born in the USA Americans wear whatever.

9. Jamaicans are the only ones you will see bending under the cue belt instead of following the line to get to the immigration officer

10. They are the only ones to hold spaces in the check in line and the Immigration Line.

11. They consistently never have anything to declare even when they are visiting for one day to the USA and have 3 bags that look like they weigh a tone.

12. Jamaicans are always reading the Immigration and Customs forms over and over like it's the first time they are seeing one; checking and rechecking and even when they get to Immigration they have to step aside to fill out something that they missed; holding up the line in the process

13. Even if they are not hungry they will accept the food that is served on the airline; look carefully and you will see them stuffing it in their luggage which is already straining at the zips;

14. After they manage to trick the check in agent and get on board the aircraft pass the flight attendant with hand luggage that should be on a cargo plane or a barge; they look around in amazement at the storage bins wondering why they are so small and why their hand luggage can't fit; even upon realizing that it can't fit they will launch into a mini powerlifting competition raising the fluffy piece of luggage as many times off the floor or passenger seat to the bin as possible trying to force it in; HOW IN THE WORLD DID THEY GET PASS THE CHECK IN AGENT AND FLIGHT ATTENDANT IN THE FIRST PLACE? I think the key is to eye lock the check in agent and flight attendant so they never look down at the oversized hand luggage.

15. Even after they get the confirmation email which says you are allowed only 1 piece of check in luggage of a maximum weight of 50 lbs you will find them at the check in counter opening 3 - 5 very massive suitcases removing sneakers, sugar, toilet paper, radio and such the likes and hissing their teeth the entire time and cussing under their breaths that "afta it cyan weigh more dan 50 lbs" which always hold up the line;

16. You can always spot a Jamaican who is coming back a yard because when they are at the overseas airport they always want to take picture at the drop off point even when the signs STATE CLEARLY that NO PARKING, ONLY DROP OFF.

17. They always are the ones in the cars you see circling the pickup area about 50 times like they are in a rally; when it would have been cheaper to park.

18. When they land overseas if they don't have a roaming cellular or no coins to make a call; look carefully that person you see edging closer and closer to you and circling nearby who suddenly ends up by your side wanting to borrow your phone to make a call is more than likely a Jamaican

19. They are always the ones who are stripping off the most number of items when they have to go through the security check points cause Jamaicans have to floss; they have to be extra with everything down to platinum filling

20. They are always cussing the Security Agents who upon checking their hand luggage discard their perfume, make up, cologne, toothpaste, lotion and salon size shampoo because they are not in a zip lock bag. The Jamaican is always wondering out LOUD why a scandal bag not good enough.

We Say It How We See It

12 comments:

  1. Amusing but true. At one stage it was the informal traders..and they would pack up first class..but at least we know that was to accomadate the extra luggage.They fill a need in the society. Now it's the dance hall artists..they can't travel except it's first class with the latest cell phones, the cargo chains, name brand clothing with label outside ofcourse, the name brand sunshades even at night and they brag..but I wonder if they even pay taxes,maybe only the ones you can't escape like GCT. One thing remains with them is ignorance born out of illiteracy

    ReplyDelete
  2. ah shameeee..mi guilty esp numba 3..lol lol lol lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. There is certainly a lot to learn about this subject. I like all of the points you made.


    Feel free to visit my site: easy Diets That work

    ReplyDelete
  4. Spot on with this write-up, I seriously think this web site needs far more attention.
    I'll probably be returning to read through more, thanks for the info!

    My blog ... how much should i weigh chart

    ReplyDelete
  5. A motivating discussion is worth comment. I do believe that you should publish more on this subject, it
    may not be a taboo matter but generally folks don't discuss these topics. To the next! All the best!!

    Feel free to surf to my web-site: diets that work fast for women

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for finally talking about > "HOW YOU CAN SPOT A JAMAICAN ON A FLIGHT OR IN THE AIRPORT:" < Liked it!

    Feel free to surf to my web site; diets that work
    for women

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good article. I certainly love this website. Stick with
    it!

    Here is my web page waist to hip ratio calculator

    ReplyDelete
  8. Great blog right here! Additionally your site loads up
    very fast! What web host are you the use of? Can I get your affiliate hyperlink to your host?
    I want my site loaded up as fast as yours lol

    Look at my homepage: diet plan

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hey there, You've done an excellent job. I will certainly digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I'm
    sure they will be benefited from this website.

    Here is my web-site; healthy diet plans

    ReplyDelete
  10. My partner and I stumbled over here by a different website and thought I may
    as well check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you.
    Look forward to exploring your web page for a second time.



    My site :: diets that work fast

    ReplyDelete
  11. What exactly are you trying to say here not all Jamaicans are the same... this stupid and a bit racist

    ReplyDelete